The feelings mothers employ when considering whether their daughters should have sex presently with some particular male

It's an interesting question the extent to which mothers ideally should influence daughters' mating activity. In some cultures, e.g., those with arranged marriages being the norm, the daughter has very little control over whom she will mate, while in others, the mother has very little control. But of course, no matter what the laws, the person with legal control can for all practical purposes cede it to the other merely by deferring the decision to the other. Who should have control, though an interesting question, is not quite the question that mosts interests me or what I shall discuss here. The most interesting question, it seems to me, and what I wish to elaborate upon, is that of the extent to which a young female's sexual decisions should be influenced by her mother. Moral daughters tend to be in moral families that usually behave morally, and the most important thing is that moral daughters mate reasonably (in such a way as to encourage evolution of their useful and moral traits), which in these families who defer reasonably won't much depend on whether the laws that dictate control are reasonable. As discussed in a previous post, I believe that the main influence a mother should and does have over her daughter's sexual activity is to inform the daughter of the chances that such activity would be a large mistake. In reasonable families, the main control a mother can and does have over her daughter relationship-wise is that she can make the daughter afraid of a male or more comfortable with him, depending upon whether the mother is herself afraid or comfortable with him being intimate with her daughter. When a mother protects a daughter from what she sees as a big mistake, the chances that the daughter actually by nature (as opposed to from deception or nefarious controlling influence) really wants to do what she is contemplating are fairly slim, more especially because the daughter is half from the mother after all. Thus, there is not the least reason why a mother should think that protecting her daughter from a big sexual mistake with a male or encouraging her to feel more sexually comfortable with a male is otherwise than encouraging her daughter to be true to herself (and it is important that people are true to their innate natures when they mate, lest ideal virtuous mating tendencies not be selected for by evolution) and no reason why a daughter would view respecting her mother there as disrespecting herself or being untrue to herself. Accordingly, mothers have a tendency to specialize in evaluating danger, i.e., possibilities of daughters' large mistakes—it's what is and should be most influential. More especially do they specialize thus because such specialization and influence has caused mothers to evolve to be unusually effective (compared with daughters) at such activity. What I have new to say is that there are a couple mistakes mothers tend to make.


When a mother vicariously considers whether a particular man is the right sort to be intimate with her daughter, the part of herself that she puts into the consideration is largely that part of her that deals with safety and danger. When she fantasizes about her daughter having sex with a male, the pleasure tends to go up and down depending upon her present particular intimations and impressions of how safe her daughter would be with him. Insofar as her imagination is concerned, the mother's impression of the pleasure that a male would give her daughter should the male be not very much worse than he seems is something that she should and largely will judge mostly from what she feels her daughter thinks. My impression is that mothers on occasion make the mistake of believing that their own particular mental and emotional inputs that they use when judging a male are better and more important than those that their daughters would more tend to use. Just because a mother is more mature is no reason for her to think that the thoughts and internal feelings that are in her when she judges a mate for her daughter are better than the thoughts and feelings that are in her daughter when the daughter fantasizes more directly about a male. Mature approaches are not always better; it is often highly appropriate, in fact, that immature people behave immaturely. I'm not saying it is wrong for parents to be concerned for their daughters' sexual safety to a large degree (compared with their daughters' concern), I am saying it is wrong to slight the young daughters' tendencies to possess feelings of love and pleasure that just sort of assume that the male is safe (largely to the degree her mother thinks). The mature need to be mature, and the immature need to be immature. Girls need more than to avoid big mistakes—they also need to avoid little mistakes and to obtain rewards small or great, and the possibilities of the latter is what their immature selves are good at evaluating themselves, and what they should straightforwardly be themselves in fantasizing about and evaluating. Also, love needs not only that it not be thrown away on an utter villain, but also that it be given to him who is worthy or, better yet, very worthy. Because their childrens' safety is what mothers should tend to be most concerned about, and because mothers mistakenly think the children too should share the same concern, mothers tend to overestimate the importance of safety. A mother can play an important role in making her daughter feel safe when she is sufficiently safe and scared when she is in danger, but these matters are not particularly what daughters should be much concerned about, at least if the daughters can trust their parents.


The other mistake mothers tend to make is that they misinterpret their feelings of safety. When a mother vicariously fantasizes about a male having sex with her daughter, it is hard to say exactly, but my impression is that the physical pleasure which varies depending on how comfortable she feels about the male being safe is a sort of all-over-the-skin tingly comfy feeling. That it is an all-over feeling presumably protects the mother (and it's usually mothers who think so much of safety) from thinking the fantasy is probably about wanting sex herself. I think a mother might confuse this feeling with the comfortable feelings she might have about the male's ability or desire to provide materially for his daughter, which would after all tend to make the daughter more safe (from other things, like starvation). I leave it to females to determine what exactly this latter feeling is like, but presumably it is different from a feeling that a male is safe in the sense it's not at all likely he's much worse than he appears.


This confusion, when together with the confusion of the preceding paragraph, only tends to aggravate in mothers the tendency to overestimate the importance of money, a conceit, of course, mostly held by older people. (Older people hanging around mainly older people, and older people tending to have the most money and thus the most to gain selfishly by making money seem extra-important, the tendency for old people to overestimate the importance of money would exist even without the confusions mentioned.) Also, it might make mothers overestimate the ability of a virtuous (and thus totally safe) male to be a provider, creating unrealistic expectations.


Another consideration, it occurs to me, is that a female lusting is a dangerous (though potentially quite rewarding) phenomenon to her. As females age, they have less-and-less capacity to lust, mostly because lust is not rewarding to older females as it can be to younger females (not that lust is not more dangerous for younger females, but that is besides the point) (my theory is that female lust is significant mainly because it encourages intraejaculate sperm selection after being absorbed by a male). Anyway, too often as women age they mistake their decreased desire to lust as an effect of wisdom; it has nothing to do with wisdom, just maturity. Women's bodies are such they can't select for sperm especially suited to fertilizing young females, and so largely they have no use for lusting (an important exception being if other females, and more especially other young females are also involved). There is a tendency for women to believe the widespread lies of vile males, who mostly tend like the Taliban to view female lust as evil or stupid, and to consider their decreased lust as proof that females lusting is not only immature but stupid, to be quickly dismissed away as just a kind of immature “raging hormones” or whatever. This sort of tendency goes hand in hand with their tendency to think danger too important. I strongly do not think, however, that in practice this general disrespect for lust that women have discourages mothers from wanting their daughters to lust. A woman may and often does think female lust foolish, but once she encounters a male she thinks sufficiently safe whom she knows her daughter from her own (the daughter's) nature is very much sexually in love with, all those abstract considerations get thrown out the window. A mother in a situation like that very quickly realizes her not wanting to feel lust for sex is not an effect of mature wisdom, because though she isn't much keen on lusting for own sexual activity, she definitely will emotionally appreciate the pleasure of her daughter having lust, which will make mockery of her theories about how female lust is foolish on account of it being something only immature females with their immature brains could want. Why would she want to hurt her daughter? Indeed, the extent to which a girl should lust when having sex depends heavily on how safe the sex is; if a male is virtuous, a girl should be lustful, else there is no benefit to having sex young; but if the male is a deceptive villain, her feeling lust is a disaster, and will select for the most pathetic sperm imaginable—it's way worse than randomness. What really makes a (young) girl want to feel lust for a male during sex is her impression of her sexual evaluations being safe. A mother who wants her daughter to have sex wants her daughter to feel safe and comfy (in the sense of the sex not being dangerous as opposed to the sense of feeling the male will likely be a good provider for her), because she wouldn't want her daughter to have sex if she didn't think the sex is safe. Since mothers tend to specialize in evaluating danger and this comfyness effectively, a mother soothing her daughter when the mother actually wants to the daughter to have sex goes a very major way to making the daughter feel more safe. And a particular reason a mother wants her daughter to feel sexually safe, beyond that it can make the daughter want sex, is that it can make the daughter feel the sex is safe for lust. So it's only among mothers who haven't much experienced situations in which they wonder whether their young daughters should have sex who view their incapacity to lust as just another proof that girls need safety especially much. When mothers actually encounter males they want their daughters to have sex with, the reality of their desire for their daughters to feel lust is so strong (even compared with what the daughter herself is feeling), that disillusion is likely to be more-or-less immediate and in all likelihood more than sufficient. But it is pretty unusual for a girl to meet someone she should feel so sure about that she should have sex with him presently rather than later or not-at-all, and thus for a mother to want her young daughter to have lustful sex; so unfortunately, though women's underestimation of the specialness of female lust doesn't in practice much discourage women from encouraging their daughters to take risks for the sake of lustful pleasure, yet it makes the general social climate toward girls taking risks for their sexual pleasure and more particularly the risk of girls lusting for their own sexual pleasure a much more inimical one than it should be.


One might have noticed one could argue in reverse that girls, denying their parents' modes of thinking, tend to underestimate the importance of safety. It may be true that girls tend to underestimate the importance of safety and the danger of danger, but I don't think the reasons are entirely analogous. Parents can't always be there to protect girls; girls have no choice but often to put themselves into judging whether a male is safe, which to a certain extent they should do regardless (but probably not quite to the extent they should respect their parents' views there if they respect their parents and their parents' abilities as much as they do themselves and their own abilities). Accordingly, all the aforementioned arguments apply significantly more weakly in the reverse direction. But there is another consideration. Namely, the part of a girl that she does not share with her mother wants just like the rest of the girl to be safe, but it isn't attracted to her mother's considerations on account of her mother being like her (though it might to a certain extent especially value her mother's considerations on account of her mother having less reason to want to behave selfishly toward her). On the other hand, the part of a mother distinct from a daughter shares no pleasure or pain in the daughter making a particular choice, it being unrelated to the daughter; it is at worst indifferent. And so, as I mentioned in a previous post (with perhaps too much allusion toward statistics in it, it seems to me now), girls will undesirably tend to rely on general impressions of how safe a possible relationship would be and whether such safety be important, whereas they would do better (on average) to more respect their parents' opinions and to less encourage their parents to be more normal and less weird.

Girls and Concentration

Every so often I encounter a young female in what appears as a kind of constant fixed concentration. Emotionally, it hits me, “whoh”! Just a glance at such a female instantly gives me an awakened feeling notwithstanding I had before had no occasion to consider myself as asleep. But unlike waking up in the morning, when a girl's look awakens me thus I feel more dreamy afterwards than before. It's as though it is a sudden intimation that there has been frivolity in my life that needs removal. Like a sudden realization my brain was considering the planet Crouton all this time when it should have been planted here on Earth. Who would have thought? And yet there is terror in my emotion, too, like waking up on account of a nightmare. A beautiful nightmare. Like from sleep lifting my torso perpendicular to the bed all of a sudden to stare forward into the abyss before the bed, because I feel in my bones the nightmare was the warning of a benevolent monitory spirit who knows just where the real danger lies, aye!

This I know: that there is a peace in loving, a peace much desired that can't be gained merely on account of being sought. A coolness rests in the level gaze of a girl in concentration. It's a sacred thing, a girl like that. It's a trance.

I myself have been at times in a state sharing certain particulars with a trancelike state. But it is not the same thing, the thing that I have felt. I have been so that my holiness, my worship, my purity of thought and even my caring did seem not just as essential to what my love demanded but as the most necessary proof that my nature remained undefiled. Was I undefiled? Was my love virtuous? They became the same question. Were I to have stopped loving, it could only have meant to my emotions that some abomination had been afflicted upon me to change my fixed opinion. The best way I could gain the sort of peace I needed to do math was by never suffering myself to stop feeling even an instant the holy pure emotions involved in my worship of her.

When in such a trance-like state, I never had much occasion to consider sex that much. It was my love that was special and had to be kept sacred, and if I wanted to have sex with her, well, big deal, that's a fairly run-of-the mill emotion for a male to have—not really any need to focus on that. But when girls love, they tend to think of it as a wanting of sex. Girls love most importantly through sex. So when love makes a girl go into something of a trance, I daresay it is sex the girl is concentrating on. I think girls go trance more than males, actually. They are more often targets of molestation, which makes tests against such more useful there, in the females. The difference is that when girls go into trance, it is an obviously sexual feeling that they keep constantly inside themselves. If the flame of sexual love is not out, it can only be because depravity has not blown it out. And so long as the flame is not out, there is real peace for her in being able to continuously recognize that, notwithstanding that if depravity didn't blow the flame out, it wouldn't have stolen what she needs to relight the flame either, and so the flame probably would be easy enough to relight.

Sodomy warps the sexual emotions of girls. It is what sodomy does. When people try to deny girls their natural sexual desires, the victimized girls are inclined to emotionally view that control as equivalent to molestation—an act of sodomy. Even when society tries to make girls scared of their sexual wants and needs by trying to make the wants and needs seem as being depraved and therefore untrue, what can happen when a girl's sexual desires are thwarted is that she can view the thwarters' methods for altering her sexual desires as likely depraved. And when a strong girl feels as though depravity is trying to warp her sexual nature from what it naturally is, she will need proof to herself that this is not the case to fully maintain her sanity. She will quite possibly need to concentrate on her sexual desire all day long just to be cool, even if that be quite opposite the intended consequences of the restrictions from those wanting to thwart her sexual desires.


So there's the thing. I love girls who concentrate on sex. The way they look when they are into the sacredness of their sexual desire, it is beautiful on what I can only say as some sort of higher religious level. It is transcendental. It's as though there is a rip in her brain through which one may see the higher universe. And on a mundane level, I daresay there is a kind of concentrated practical understanding of how sex should be to be more fun and beautiful that I see in females that I doubt could come to me so easily. I despair of having in me that same stamina of focused concentration a girl in a trance presents; my consolation is that perhaps this is not a faculty very developed in males, notwithstanding its use in sex is obvious. But when girls concentrate on sex, I suspect mostly they do so to remain sane. At least, all the girls I have seen in this state of total concentration appeared mostly in a trance, largely as if because they needed to be there to stay cool and focused. I would like to see a girl concentrating on sex as though she be in a trance, but for her not to be in a trance (though the state would so much resemble a trance, one might choose to define things so as to still classify it such). I can't say sufficiently how much I admire girls who view the vampirish thwarting of their sexual desires by society as a great evil, as something worthy of making one wake up screaming. And yet, when society thwarts a girl and the guy she wants, typically they don't do this by screwing them up with nastiness. It's all done very politely, really, in the name of religion and keeping girls safe. The underlying causes are more nefarious, but on the fundamental level, that wouldn't touch a girl who loved me, nor me either. Our separation would leave us just as clean and uncorrupted as before. Better for a girl to concentrate on sex for her sanity than to not concentrate on sex at all, but better still for a girl to concentrate on sex without her sanity depending on her ability to keep concentrating on it. It isn't right to try to make people love you by for that reason putting them in a state such that their sanity depends on loving you well, or to refrain from disabusing them of incorrect notions because so doing may cause them to no longer need to love you just to stay sane. I don't actually think people are of a nature to do this—the drawbacks of putting someone you desire in an emotionally unstable state are obviously very significant, and actually there are more things than sex or romantic love that sometimes people need to think about just to prosper enough to be useful—but I do think that there are people who think they want others' sanity to depend on loving them. I'd say that they just don't very well know what they really very well want.

Should males make much use of their own practical faculties?

This is a post based on very recently discovered ideas (like last week). In particular, I have but a very vague idea of the niceties involved in distinguishing the practical from the theoretical, not having thought much of the underlying philosophical distinction. Nevertheless, I thought it well to throw this out so people can chew on it.

As readers of this blog should know, I believe that intraejaculate sperm selection is responsible for females wanting to have sex with virtuous males at a young age, a phenomenon I call nymphetal philokalia. If a female when young wants sex with a male before she becomes adult, it is a sign that she is unusually certain she desires him—she doesn’t need to wait to make sure he’s right for her. And so if a male is not deceptive, his being wanted sexually by young females is accordingly a strong sign that he is exceedingly desirable to females. The particulars of sex between a virtuous male and a young female would accordingly be supposed to select for sperm coding for qualities that are especially desired by females. But just the other day I was thinking about this a little more carefully, dotting all the i’s and crossing all my t’s, so to speak, and lo! I noticed an important subtlety that I had not erstwhile observed.

The part of beauty that is easiest to judge is character. Accordingly, if a girl knows a male to be good, why wouldn’t she just ask him whether he has talents worthy of her, and use his estimation heavily in making her decision? Being good, he wouldn’t be dishonest. And doubtless he knows the extent of his talents better than she. And I think that’s right. A male should be open with a girl evaluating him insofar as his talents are concerned—it’s not immodest for him to display his talents. And males being open thus allows bad males to be open without stigma, ensuring that deception will be a tool employed by bad males, ensuring that intraejaculate sperm selection will tend to cause girls to reject bad males. But a male shouldn’t do all the evaluating of his prospects, no; besides being ridiculous, it would ensure that girls would not gain by waiting in evaluating the prospects of a good male, inasmuch as such prospects would not be measured directly by her; nymphetal philokalia would be hindered.

The distinction important to make is between a girl largely taking a male’s word concerning his talents and between her largely taking his word concerning his prospects. Once a female knows a male’s abilities, she is scarcely less able to evaluate his prospects than he is. And this evaluation would be expected to improve with her age and worldly wisdom. But notice something that this implies, namely that evaluating prospects through worldly wisdom is something more useful to girls (and thus females) than to men. But how really can one go about intelligently evaluating prospects (and in particular, the relative usefulness of talents) otherwise than through worldly, practical wisdom? So maybe when it comes to practical knowledge of how to be successful financially, socially, and sexually, or even of how to reform the world through (teaching) truth provided one knows truth, females would be expected to have evolved to be more skilled at it. Maybe even girls are not particularly annoyed at males who just sort of aren’t very concerned with figuring out how to get ahead or to accomplish things, because it indicates a tendency to delegate practical decisions to females. And a male who delegates such practical decisions to females is a male who presumably encourages girls to make their own decisions regarding his prospects. And sexually that is the kind of virtuous male a girl might be expected especially to be sexually pleased with, because intraejaculate sperm selection that occurs in sex between a male and a girl only would be expected to select for characteristics especially pleasant to females to the extent the male’s ancestors also shared this tendency to insist females use mostly just their own worldly wisdom in evaluating his prospects. But it is more than that really. For what has such a male use for internal worldly practical wisdom anyway? It’s mostly girls with worldly wisdom who would want him sexually, and eh, heh, if females with worldly wisdom are in love with him, Why not just make use of these females’ worldly wisdom to guide him in his practical decisions? He does better to concentrate developing his talents and theoretical wisdom—to understand why as opposed to how. He won’t have much need of practical wisdom. When it comes time to making practical decisions, he can just trust the most loved and practical of his lovers to nudge him in the direction that they find most likely to be profitable, ehheh.