Friday, February 08, 2008

Is dancing adult?

Is dancing adult?

For the past few months or so I have had in the back of my mind the question of why some girls like to dance. It seems innocent enough, dancing, and yet some girls seem to be quite determined in viewing it of an importance to themselves beyond whatever I could imagine it being to me. And I don’t think dancing has anything to do with young female sexuality. So I have been trying (duly purposivelessly) to understand it. I shall first give a poem about dance I wrote a few days ago (making a few edits along the way) and then make some clarification and also comments about further impressions I have concerning the matter.

Silly Doodle Poem

Don’t know what I’ll say.
Am saying it for myself
I love to dance
For someone else
But not myself
It doesn’t do much for me
in the capacity
of just me.

Dancing is sexy
When its purpose
is seductive.
When girls giggle
They go
Arms too
Up and down
A drill
If it looks like
The girls will feel
more comfortable
Doing it.

But just as a dance,
(And Why would a girl dance for me
for any other reason?)
A dance really pretty conservative is.
It’s mostly about play—
Playing at being an adult.
Yeah, that’s about right,
that’s my inference.
Women move when they have sex.
Women behave sexually like responsible adults
Because when girls, they played at it.
Girls like being still,
quiet and music-free
When they have sex.
And if they didn’t,
somehow a Gregorian chant or such-like
sacred hymn would please them best
loved, I imagine.
But girls wonder, I’m sure, what it’s
like to love like an adult.
To most girls,
the girls who wait
to have children,
it’s really pretty much the only relevant concern.
Sex absolutely still is weird.
A girl want to see if stillness and quiet and peace
really is what she wants now.
And how is she to know that?
Without experimenting—play.
For a girl, dancing is the opposite of sex.

But dancing can be seductive to males less wise than I.
Which in a way can make it seductive to me,
I mean given what that implies about her general attitudes.
For no such dance will ever be for me.
To me a dance with me or about me is just silly.

I don’t like music.
At least, it has no relation to my thoughts for her.
They’re best most absolutely still
And yet,
I would go along,
for her,
not seriously,
but just because it’s fun to see her have play—
to help her see dance not really
very relevant is to anything I feel and
yet if she were to wait and get normal
I could do normal OK too, but Why
really would she ever want that?
I’m not that sort of person.
I would never claim that.

I think she’s obsessed with it—
Being able to dance,
yeah, in her music,
if my understanding of custom be accurate, and she does as custom dictates,
She throws her head about violently
thrashing like dance is what it is all about
and frustrated wall-banging would be a natural consequence of
ever getting rejected when wanting it.
Sometimes people obsess
At singular frustrations.

Seduction not what she is after.
And it’s not what I want from her,
Yet I keep coming back to that, Why?

To some guys,
Guys who don’t feel as good about themselves as I,
a dance can be so seductively light
With laughter
And clean movement
there Can be conveyed the notion
A mere instant of pleasure
Can amount to more than a month
of sexual love.
That’s OK, it’s normal, it’s what women give normally
When they want to give.
Losing oneself in a song
like some other losing oneself?
No way, I’ll stay myself
and so won’t really take dancing too
seriously. I won’t be into the music, but you.
I could do that,
I’m pretty sure.

Love dawdles, it seems,
More than I had expected,
I don’t actually seem to be very fast or forwards
When it comes to actually communicating with females.

She is too scared:
The simplest inference I can make
from my tendency not to do anything.
On some inner level I can’t reflect well upon
I have evolved to have considered her scared given the data.
But that’s just a guess
I’m more sure that what I’ve evolved to feel
as the right speed probably is.
Glacial it is,
Until I feel otherwise.

I could make her less afraid
By dancing with her
Or just enjoying the spectacle
Of her movement.
I don’t have to make it more than
it is
Because it won’t be about me on any fundamental level.
It is not important to me,
Just to her
Maybe about me as much as someone else,
but as to the last point, it makes no difference,
Whatever..., I like dreams even if just dreams.

Back to seduction
Girls can make a male want to sexually enjoy her
In no still tantric way.
Innocently they do this to the
men they want
to value pleasure
more than guilt.
Girls aren’t fools
Lots of desirable guys don’t get it.
I didn’t get it.
Neither did anyone else,
male, female, or neutral.
A girl setting out to please
Can make
A moment of bliss
That leaves one awestruck.
Really what’s the point?
The more religious the girl
The more one wants to tell her to remove the crucifix from about her neck,
Because she needs to be herself
And devoid of vampire fears
To enjoy
Great sex and make it enjoyable.
How could I have determined
Without lengthy derivation
When throwing away the crucifix is
What I wanted her to do
That I should be as holy and sacred
As I ever possibly could be.
It’s easy for me now to see this
but I really didn’t see anything
except from a standard direction
then, back yonder,
The words,
they weren’t my own
I thought I was my own man
I wasn’t yet man.
I knew I loved my holiness more
even though I loved them both.

Try to seduce
And many people will (unjustly) try to spit on you
Try to dance
And some people will (unjustly) think you are trying to seduce
They will hate you for it,
Others will find it dull
or that it is not quite preferable to what they wrongly see as its only alternative.
Or, as I would probably be if I were as vulnerable to music as I was at your age,
that they aren’t up to the risk of letting their feelings for you
be controlled by a song.
I think I can dance.

The depraved pedantic
Don’t want women to remember
How they had thought they would love when older.
The play of their childhood is what the fallen women remember of themselves,
and it could make them pure.
But it would require too much understanding
for the wicked
to behave with such cunning.
Bitter men,
when the bitterness tastes bad,
they believe girls dance because they be natural sluts.

OK, now for a clarification. When I was speaking of “back yonder” I was referring to my high school days. A long time ago indeed.

Now I feel I should more-or-less list my other impressions about dance and music, some of which I haven’t developed as highly.

I really do feel dance is more of an adult thing. For instance, one would think, given my attraction to young females, that high-school cheerleaders would be more attractive to me than (say) professional cheerleaders that one sees at sporting events, and yet not so. High school cheerleaders when they leap around all over it’s unappealing to me. But maybe partly it is just that the aesthetic when it comes to makeup, facial expression, etc., that one sees on high school cheerleaders nowadays who make it to television has been twisted by ESPN, the event organizers, coaches, or I don’t really know because I hardly care, blah, blah, blah. If they would stay still, they could be prettier, probably, but then that wouldn’t be cheerleading, I guess. There are doubtless many pretty high school cheerleaders (there were a fair number when I went to high school) and gymnastics is quite interesting to watch. Not that I am particularly attracted to professional cheerleaders—I really am not into movement—but mostly they are prettier and sexier to me than high school cheerleaders on television, at least when they are cheerleading.

Dance if it is slow and ballet-like can have a kind of gracefulness about it that is appealing and beautiful. It has a way of showing off balance. And balance is related to bipedalism, an important anti-sodomy defense.

Dance can be an interesting way for females to express strength and distaste. For instance, Paula Abdul was cool when she danced about cataloguing her frustrations about males she might otherwise want to be still with. Like I said, dance is the opposite of sex. But presumably females in a spirit of having been inspired by a male would have more interesting things to express than those in a spirit of contrariness, the attractiveness of female strength and/or coyness notwithstanding.

Some songs probably have a slightly addictive appeal. These would be the catchy songs. Songs if at all catchy (and perhaps the majority of popular songs are catchy to some degree if not just plain boring) interfere with my sense of poetry and can make concentration (e.g., when doing math) difficult. And there are catchy songs which are not at all pretty. The most prominent example I can think of would be “Wreck of the Old 97”. It is a very catchy song that is dreadfully ugly; you can take my word for it, or if you are fairly invulnerable to catchiness, you can listen to it yourself and see my point. So the ugliness makes it quite clear to me that catchiness isn’t just something in my mind saying that there is something profound in the song I need to listen to. The young are probably most vulnerable to this catchiness. And I should point out that whereas catchiness might be something one normally can accept somewhat (it is a very mild addiction probably to most people), a male is very hesitant when he is being taken as expressing his feelings for a girl to risk having his feelings corrupted by a catchy song that he fell into. I would be very reluctant to dance in a spirit of seriousness with a girl. Danger, danger: Nothing I could seem to be feeling she should take seriously as the authentic me. If I wrote the song myself, perhaps I might feel somewhat different, but that is not my talent. But what about the expressiveness of music? How does it compare with poetry, for example, in importance.

Music can be useful as a way of clarifying the sense in which something is meant to be taken. For instance, in movies, when a movie is trying to make some subtle point, music can be an effective means by which to clarify the intended meaning or sense of a scene. Music can make the expression of the movie more compact and efficient. Oftentimes, however, music in movies only serves by way of trying to force the viewer to feel an emotion with a strength it is not natural for the viewer to feel; frequently it is manipulative. Can’t create a sympathetic treatment of a character? Create a sympathetic song to make the audience feel more like crying than the underlying meaning of the movie itself would. There is a subtle difference between using music to help the viewer find the meaning of the movie and using music to manipulate the viewer into believing the meaning of the movie by means of warping the audiences’ emotions so as to find the truth of the meaning more plausible; but there is a difference.

I do think girls somewhat attracted to the expressiveness of music. Girls, being young, don’t have as many impressions to deduct from as older people do. In a way, I feel this might make logic less useful to them compared with emotion. But then a rational outlook is very useful to girls when it comes to avoiding sodomy. And in some ways girls seem to be fond of deduction. Just look at the popularity of the Nancy Drew books (which I enjoy reading myself). And words come from society whereas notes might appear more naturally authentic and God-given. But I look at it this way. Music is mainly about expression if it is not addictive. And if there are no words, well, what is there useful to be expressed? Music is important mainly in the sense that it should be important in movies—as secondary to the meaning rather than primary to it. (I tend to prefer songs with words in them.) If it tries to be more than that, I think it mostly ends up being less than nothing.

Hmmm, vaguely it seems like I had a few other mostly less interesting things I was going to say about music/dancing that I might have forgotten. But I can't remember whether I forgot something. If I do remember that I forgot something and remember what it was, I’ll jot it off in a suplementary post before I forget. No need to wait about posting what I have written so far.

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