Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Girls and Love

Something that annoys me is that to the extent girls are supposed to have sexual desires, they are supposed to be motivated by love rather than pleasure. Love is a dangerous thing—it involves being willing to sacrifice for the other person, a willingness that is imprudent if one lacks understanding. For the rewards of being loved being what they are, there are a great many who try to trick others into loving them, notwithstanding they don’t deserve it. It’s a rare girl who understands herself and others sufficiently for it to be prudent for her to give herself away from love. Evolution doesn’t select particularly well against girls loving for reasons unnatural to themselves because unlike being the sort of person who is willing to be unselfish, unselfishness is by definition not rewarding in a pleasant sense. The difference between a girl having sex because she is deluded into thinking it incredibly pleasant sexually and between her having it because she knows correctly that it actually is incredibly pleasant sexually is like the difference between hell and heaven—girls will be expected to be highly evolved in not making the wrong choice, because ones that do make the wrong choice especially die out along with their offspring of (usually) miserable brats, while those who do make the right choice tend to get awesome well-loved children tending to leave lots of offspring. But the difference between giving sexually from true love and giving sexually from having been tricked into love is only like the difference between hell and heaven insofar as its effects on humanity are concerned. So far as a girl is concerned, giving from love is unselfish and thus (by definition) not particularly rewarding either way. The only reason it could be expected for girls to evolve to be sexually unselfish from love would be if lovers or other people rewarded them for by nature being willing to be thus unselfish. But why would males or people in general reward girls well for being loving when loving for the wrong reasons can be such a bad thing for humanity that it is probably not really prudent for girls to be especially loving?

Girls just sort of assume that men would want them to be loving. This was something I was noticing just a few weeks ago when a family trip caused me to have to eat out more than usual. When I see an attractive girl at a restaurant or whatever, of course I look upon her nicely with my pious look. But doing this, it occurred to me that one girl was trying to convince me that she too was loving and gentle-like. She just sort of assumed that my being a more loving sort of pious person meant I believed girls should be that way, too. And all it did was make her afraid and feel like thinking of me while leaning on her dad I guess he was. And then the next time I had occasion to look all gentlemanly-like at a girl sitting across from me she just sort of looked like she was trying to convince me that I wasn’t smart not to realize it be funner to not try to be pious when considering girls. It’s as though when evaluating me she decided if she didn’t convince me to realize sex can be funner unholy and lustful, she wouldn’t have any fun, and she wasn’t optimistic because my piety was real. I think she wondered whether I must be one of those jealous Taliban sorts who of course don’t claim to like lust in sex (because they don’t want their wives to be tempted to stray). I won’t pretend those girls were irresistibly attracted to me sufficiently to have paid very close attention, and not that I studied them sufficiently to be certain of the subtleties of their expressions, but I can’t help wondering whether if there were some way I could evince my tendency to be loving and pious without particularly giving the impression I want girls to do otherwise than to seek their own pleasure, I might fairly be almost irresistible, which might be a cool thing even with laws being what they are. Most girls are just not discriminating enough to realize that men with holy feelings for them really don’t want the girls to be holy; in fact, the more unholy girls are, the more they inspire holiness, probably. It’s the do-unto-others-as-you-would-have-them-do-unto-you error—an error born of a rule that doesn’t work when people have differing needs. Girls are not pleased by guys full of unholy lust screwing them in a way that is indifferent to their own pleasure, and so mostly they just sort of assume it be bad and selfish to desire a male in a mainly sensual and mostly purely pleasure-seeking unholy way. I wouldn’t care if girls be selfish when having sex with me; it’s sex, that’s great for males anyway one looks at it, and in fact, if they aren’t selfishly seeking their own pleasure, they are likely to get too afraid, thereby indeed decreasing the fun for everybody.

People tend to be not very clear in their head what exactly constitutes depravity. Most people lump together lust and depravity using the word “fucking” and assume that this makes them ghetto clever, the way some people do because they feel they are in the know because they watch shows on HBO where every third word is “fuck”. Well, no. If a girl “fucks” a male by giving in to her unholy lustful emotions and aggressively seeking for herself sexual pleasure in bed, she is not being unkind to her lover the way a sodomizer is unkind to a girl he might sodomize. She in fact is giving him something very special. Lives are well-nigh ruined by not appreciating what sexual love is. A husband has an affair with female; she’s full of lust but maybe (she thinks) just because she thinks she can gain something over him by “fucking” him. Husband comes to have holy-desiring emotionally loving feelings for mistress, maybe because she is worth it, or maybe because his wife is worth it. But most people don’t understand that holiness is a sexual emotion, and so husband just sort of assumes it immoral to feel holy feelings for more than one female, the way it is mostly immoral to care for several females, and so he feels he has to choose, and of course he chooses where his interests lie. It’s all pointless. The more a male is holy (unless chemicals from a woman force him to be otherwise), the more he is loving to anybody he has sex with—wife, mistress or whatever. Very possibly, the husband feels holiness for the mistress mainly because he loves his wife too much to be unholy; but it is not very possible he’ll be clever enough to realize this. And the wife? Oh, if she finds out, and if the mistress is pretty and young enough, likely the wife will have a sudden increase in lust. But she won’t interpret this as “yeah, now I can have the extra fun of sex in an orgy”. No, of course not, people are too stupid. She’ll just think she wants to fuck her husband and mistress’s brains out akin to the controlling way guys sodomize wives and those they cheat with when jealousy makes them feel like it; and she’ll assume her husband has holy feelings for his mistress because she fucked them into him. She’ll interpret her emotions as hateful ones and seek divorce. Meanwhile, a daughter, unless she figures out the truth, will not be quite sure whether fuck is some kind of wretched disease that has destroyed her family or whether it’s a fuck-or-be-fucked world out there; in the first case, she won’t be as affectionate as she should be and will tend to get in the way by way of “rescuing” people from fucking, in the second case, she’s not likely to make wise reproductive decisions.

What her own sexual pleasure demands of a girl is very close to what love demands of her (according to my theory of nymphetal philokalia). Her own love indeed is important to her, but mainly because if she feel no love, then for sure that is a strong sign her pleasure isn’t real. If a girl really wants to feel love, she should prudently be led by her sexual pleasure first, for that will likely lead her to feel more love than if she be led by her love first.


A common misconception people make is that guilt is purely an emotion about having done something wrong. I would argue guilt is about having done something wrong contrary to nature on account of having become screwed-up. Many people behave as though there be some internal war between goodness and badness and as if guilt is the cry of goodness after badness has gotten the upper hand. But it doesn’t make much sense to me to suppose that people would naturally be divided thus inside themselves. If Abe Lincoln is correct in his assertion that “A house divided against itself cannot stand”, how much the more so in the case of a person. It is not very reasonable to suppose that the moral tendencies in people would not have evolved a kind of compromise as opposed to fighting each other in a conflicted never-ending distracting struggle. And if the bad part of a person prevailed at one time, well, I can’t see why that part wouldn’t likely prevail in the future too. Accordingly, one would expect that each part of a person’s makeup would have a small say in determining behavior, and the extent to which various parts of her have a say would be fairly steady with time, provided addictions aren’t relevant. When addictions are not involved, guilt doesn’t stop people from being bad, because they don’t have guilt, and neither does guilt then allow good people to be good, because being good, they want to be good anyway.

Girls in particular do too often, I think, consider guilt as being quite generally an important and useful help to goodness. After all, it is young females who are in most danger of getting screwed-up, they typically being the favorite targets of abusive males (and only males can sodomize). All too often females are insufficiently generous with members of their own sex. They can come to see morality as preferring guilt to a desire to sin. If a girl becomes a skank, she needs those of her own sex to help her reform. Instead, because other girls view the unjust meanness such skankiness can cause as merely immoral—as an act of selfish indifference to guilt as opposed to just a stupid act deserving guilt—the girl will more likely be hated by her own sex. Good guys are hurt unjustly by skankiness, but I don’t think skanky females deserve the hate they receive from their own sex (or the other sex, for that matter). And when males say vile things about fallen females like they have been hurt sooo bad by them they can’t help but be angry at them, I don’t think they deserve or need much sympathy. (To a female, sympathy from a male can be sexually pleasant, to a male from a female, it’s just advice or reassurance at best.) I have to kind of shake my head when I consider beautiful girls listening to misogynistic screaming music by boys railing about female disgustingness. Some of it, I see from the lyrics, is quite full of descriptions of violence against females. The problem with hating skanks is that skanks are not made skanks by nature, but by males, often through violence. And sure, those girls with more of a heart and more of a capacity for guilt can better free themselves from depravity, and females with those qualities are to be admired for them, but How can one hate females for depravity when it is the unselfish female who are the abusers favorite targets? It’s hard for a male to addict a female into being (unjustly) unselfish toward him when unselfishness is not a part of her nature. I would urge girls to be a little careful about angry angst-ridden guys—sometimes angst is fake and just an excuse for violence. Personally, I have never had a violent thought against skanky females. I don’t bother thinking much about bad females I obviously can’t rescue easily (and one rarely can rescue a bad female easily if she is screwed-up), and if I feel a girl is good, I have faith in that judgment no matter how mean or nasty she behave. Unless, of course, I end up feeling otherwise, but that’s not likely to happen to sensitive people, who can judge innate character better than anything else external. The importance of this faith is probably mainly what gives faith its religious significance to most people. Without it, it would be hard to believe that goodness would be strong enough to exist in this world, and you would turn into a selfish cynic. The faith is beautiful and good. And the faith is correct. That guys go insane because the faith conflicts with empirical “evidence” is not evidence of the error of faith, it’s evidence of the error of standard worldly explanations of female behavior, and the extent to which these explanations guide people, at least at the start. The wise person must go inside of himself, his feelings toward her, and nature as it is, throw away his worldly assumptions, and use his own faculties of understanding to come at the truth as I did (or, he can just read my antisodomy page, but even then he has to find reasons in himself to believe the truth more than standard dumbass dogma). Don’t get me wrong, standard dogma is a far cry from being as clueless about depravity as a skanky female is likely to be, but for all that, it is still pretty stupid—in particular, too stupid to give much protection against the insanity that a failure to comprehend can cause in a male for whom wisdom is so important mostly he would just march his brain right through hell if that be the morally upright thing to do by way of understanding what afflicts beloved females.

Ironically, it is largely religion that has caused guilt to be viewed with such general respect. Presumably, feeling guilty and believing in original sin (a notion that encourages continual guilt) encourage church attendance, after all. So I figure probably some girls like death metal too much (from the little I’ve heard it, it isn’t possible to like it too little) because their excess churchiness makes them excessively hate skanky girls who don’t feel sufficiently guilty about their disgusting behaviors. They don’t have the faith. (In fairness to girls, it is probably even more trying for them to rescue fallen females, because when the screwed-up girls throw shit back, it’s harder for girl targets not to feel defiled, even though of course they aren’t defiled, it being sodomy that defiles. My apologies to any girl hit accidentally by crap thrown at me.) Yeah, that must be it.