This morning I got to thinking how gratitude has differing obligations from love. There are girls in this world who have done me and humanity a service by teaching me about love—inspiring me to discover great truths I believe thitherto unknown by earthly creatures. I am very much grateful to them. In fact, I am more than grateful, I am obliged. Whenever someone does something so right to not only myself but to humanity as well, it would be wrong not to behave in a way so as to encourage such behavior quite generally. A higher justice demands that when it is in one’s power and province to reward someone for something kind and brave that she has done which greatly benefits not only you but the world at large, that one tries to do so. Accordingly, to such girls as have done such , I would always be more loving in emotion and attitude than my love suggests—it just would be wrong and inconsiderate of future humanity not to do so. A good man has something of an obligation to uphold the values that encourage girls (in all generations, present and future) to be less fearful and hesitant to behave toward a man in such a manner as to greatly benefit the greater good. How indebted I am for such girls having taken a chance on me, to the extent they did so more than typical! And yes, how indebted society is also, or at least they will be if they begin to take my discoveries seriously.
Oftentimes, unfortunately, stuff gets in the way that prevents relationships from occurring with girls when they ideally should happen. And the girls that inspire me are not the puritanical sort of girls, but those who allow their emotions more wildness. But as Locke says, “The greatest part of true knowledge lies in a distinct perception of things in themselves distinct. And some men give more clear light and knowledge by the bare distinct stating of a question, than others do by talking of it in gross, whole hours together.” In particular, often times a failure to possess a distinct perception of things in themselves distinct causes girls to view all the distinct varieties of wildness as being not distinct or fundamentally different one from another. A female might per chance come to view the innocent wildness of whatever emotion she had toward me when young as not being fundamentally different from the wild emotions characteristic of cocktail parties, bars and indeed the alcohol-lifestyle quite generally, and so I figure some of the inspiring girls who thankfully were especially likely to view the former set of emotions as innocuous may yet also view the latter sort of emotions as being the same sort of species of emotion, and thus come to view this latter species of emotions as innocuous. In short, it may well be that girls who loved me very well (compared with other girls) when they were younger, now don’t particularly love me at all—because they might adopt the standard drinking lifestyle, etc.. For indeed, it would be very difficult if not preposterous for me to imagine a female loving the drinking lifestyle and me at the same time, such a lifestyle being very contrary to my (obvious anti-addiction) sensibilities, as I would never pretend otherwise than to be the case. Rescuing someone from what she has come to want to be rescued from is one thing, but rescuing someone from something she doesn’t want to be rescued from is something altogether different; in particular the latter sort of rescue is typically a much more thankless and sacrificial task than the former. To the extent my concern for a girl stems mainly from love, I very well might be willing nevertheless to brave the humiliation, the shame, and the danger that she in her addicted state might try to inflict upon me, in order to make her feel the guilt that she can turn her life around with, if that appear the best chance of reform. Love is willing to sacrifice. But I doubt whether there is much point in sacrificing thus merely from obligation. If a girl (in her addicted state) does not want to be rescued and, more particularly, does not want to endure the shame and guilt such an attempt might cause in her, it seems doubtful to me that an effort on my part to inflict guilt upon her actually would by example encourage girls to be braver in loving and inspiring people like me. No, I find it difficult to imagine girls thinking, “Wow! If I drink and am wild quite generally, he will try to make me feel totally ashamed and guilty. Nowwww I see I feel like I should inspire him by letting myself go sexually wild when I’m about him.” Especially do I find it difficult to imagine girls thinking thus about a guy if the guy is even willing to make her feel ashamed when he doesn’t think it particularly likely he will succeed in his attempt at rescue. Much of the attraction girls have for good males really has to do with their being young (nymphetal philokalia); as females age, oftentimes the sexual attraction just isn’t enough anymore for her to want sex so much that there is much reason to think he can make her choose him over alcohol or whatever, even though you never know what’s possible.
So I guess my point is that if I am grateful to a woman because when she was a girl I became indebted to her, I would always be nicer to her (e.g., in bed, if she lets me in) than I would otherwise. In particular, just because she’s aged somewhat doesn’t mean I wouldn’t (sexually) want her and want her in a nice way. But on the other hand, if she gives evidence her lifestyle is screwed-up, and I don’t from my own nature love her extremely well, I’d probably just shrug my shoulders and forget about her, no matter if I’m obliged to her, I think because that would be my impression of what she as she’s become would want from me, namely, that which would give her the least occasion for guilt.
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